Human dignity is inviolable?
I previously wrote about my name change process that I am undergoing. I went to 2 psychologist as ordered by the court. And one of them made me problems.
The ancient law regarding trans-people to change their name and gender requires the person to “have the urge to live as the other gender [as gender of birth] for longer than 3 years”. While one of the psychologists stated that I have it longer, the other one wrote no and took the date where I outed myself, which started in late October 2014.
Last Tuesday I got a letter from the court, saying that the process will be paused until October 2017. I have to pay almost 1400€ for the two psychologist letters and I have the possiblity to as to see a third psychologist, out of my own pocket.
Health impacts
After I read the letter, I had a very long panic attack. My therapist called me eventually, which helped a bit. But this decision has put me into a bad state of depression. Two days later I still struggle with motivation problems, self-esteem problems, self-harm thoughts, lack of energy. I have troubles sleeping, I cry a lot, randomly panicing, eventually take benzodiazepines to calm me down.
It feels like I have no (legal) identity and if feels like they have denied my chosen identity. My therapist says: “They didn’t deny it, it’s just a formality in which you unfortunately got into”. This is technically true, but it doesn’t hurt it less. I’m waiting on my name change to happen to get my new passport, access to sex reassignment surgery, access to updated school reports and much more. It has a huge impact on my life, on my job situation and on my mental health.
Having the legal name change completed would finally stop discrimination by using my old gender and name of a lot of places, including bank, health insurance and every authority.
But no. If it had passed as I hoped, I would have that freedom by next month. Now I have at least 3-4 more month on what feels as “open prison”.
Article 1, sentence 1: “Human dignity is inviolable”.
Germany’s Basic Law states that human dignity is inviolable. Transitioning taught me a very important lesson: Human dignity is violable in Germany for certain groups or certain individuals.
The name change process for trans people is violating the dignity of anyone who has to go through this. It is not okay to have to do more than a formality to change your name and gender markers. It is not okay to be interrogated. It is not okay to be sent to two or three psychologist and justify yourself over and over again. It is not okay to have this judged by a judge that has no experience in psychology.
Action plan
- Write to the court that I’ll take a third psychologist
- Live in poverty for the next months to collect money for them (Sorry, no donations - the jobcenter might take them away)
- Wait 3-4 months for the hopefully positive final decision.
- Get out of work demotivation somehow.
- Get out of depression somehow
Please send me hugs and chocolate.